Girl's weekend

It was long overdue. We haven't ventured out on a camping trip in over 2 years. In fact, we haven't even upgraded from our backpacking tent to a family tent. It's a 2-sleeper, and the last time we snuggled up in our tent we were backpacking at 10,000 feet in the cold rain, deep in the Eastern Sierras. Zami was with us too, 3 years younger and much more spry, but even then, she finessed her way into our little tent for some comfort and warmth.

Fast forward 3 years. With Shane working the weekend, the 2-sleeper was perfectly suitable for a night away. Jasmine thought it was incredibly cool to have camping beds and blankies out in the woods. She spent the first hour rolling around in the tent.

We found a sweet spot by the river outside of Lake Tahoe.

These days, whether conscious or not, Zami is often found by Jasmine's side. Not raised to be naturally comfortable with children, she intrinsically understands the need to stay close to Jasmine. I'm sure the daily treats she receives from J doesn't hurt, either.
Dinner was consumed standing up in skivvies.
Digging.
Corn on the cob, an easy veggie to offer.
In the morning, Jasmine found a new friend. Actually, her new friend found us. Observing us from across the road, Emmy ventured over and felt like hanging out. She was obviously intrigued by our little family. Earlier in the morning, her father had paid us a visit and spontaneously given us a children's book, which Emmy was invited to read. Jasmine eventually convinced her to visit our little tent and play peek-a-boo.
Later in the day, we drove into Tahoe and visited J's special friend, Isla. They live in Tahoe and have access to a private beach right on the Lake. It was glorious. J and Isla made sand angels and played hard before they both started to melt down late in the afternoon. Who said 3 year olds don't need their naps? We are delighted to have seen Isla 2 weekends in a row and to be getting to know her family.

Next weekend we have our second camping trip planned with grandparents. We can hardly wait to pack up our car and hit the road!

Nevada City's Children Renaissance Fair

This was a true foray into parenting a soon-to-be 3 year old, a fair that is all about arts and crafts. Nevada City, known for its' progressive politics, community focus and artistry puts on this annual children's fair. Nestled in the trees with a creek flowing through the middle, it was a joyful way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

Jasmine showed off her preschool talents by embarking on every activity that she could, enlightening me to some of her lesser known skills. Like gluing things to paper with large bowls of glitter to sprinkle all over the top like powdered sugar. Not exactly something I've embraced on the home front. I'm all about glitter--after it's dried and brought home from school.
Jasmine is examining her handiwork in the form of a crown.


The added bonus to this day? We got to check in on my friend Lynn and her 4 kids from China. I wish terribly I had taken a few pictures. Jasmine was literally awestruck by Lynn's family. We haven't seen them in about a year, and that was 11 1/2 months too long. Before and after the fair, we hung out with this amazing family and when we left she was wearing hand-me-down jammies and had a bagful of donated toys from the 3 girls. They had given her things that they had watched her play with, even things out of Kate's special treasure box. We will definitely be making more of an effort to be with them in the future!

Garden update

We've been bustin' our behinds on our new vegetable garden this year, especially on the rare Sundays that Shane isn't working. It's become an obsession of sorts and the more we do, the more that needs doing. We are all involved and most weekends you can find Jasmine either covered from head to toe in dirt, with sidewalk chalk, shovels and buckets, or soaked to the bone as she helps with the watering. This inevitably leads to a lot of nakedness by Jasmine which is fine with us. Enjoy it now, sweetheart.

We have a lot of flowering plants right now, with a few bearing fruit. Tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers are starting to emerge and the newly planted pole beans are poking up from the ground with robust leaves. Every morning you will find me outside, greeting my young crop with a curious eye, making sure there were no tragedies in the night. Evenings, I can't wait to see what the heat of the day inspired and I have yet to be disappointed. The okra have beautiful hibiscus-like flowers, and the zucchini is ready to produce its first orange blossom tomorrow morning. It's an exciting process. Of course, I've gotten the fun job, planting and nurturing (although I'm the designated drip installer, which is definitely a labor of love). Shane has been installing PVC for our expanded irrigation system, mostly digging trenches and laying and gluing pipe. And Jasmine, as usual, is comic relief and reminds us to play more and work less.

Letting go

We've been facing some new challenges with our almost 3 year old. Actually, they're old challenges resurrected. Because we faced some of this before, early on in our parenting journey when Jasmine was little and I had to leave her. No wanting to let go of me. Screaming enough to make my heart break when I had to go to work. It didn't happen with everyone. In fact, sometimes it only happened when I left her with Shane, which was brutal for all of us. But Shane and I ventured into this journey knowing that we were both going to be parenting on our own, with opposing days off, and he had to find his way through the trauma.

Thankfully, we are slightly more experienced now, although when unexpected emotional upheavals occur, it definitely can throw me off. And I'm not always proud of how I react. Sometimes it takes me a day to think about what's happened and realize that I better come up with a new plan, a new response--and fast.

Jasmine has been in the care of others since the beginning of our lives together. As a self-employed person, I had to return to work within days of getting back from China. It was a gut-wrenching time in our lives. Shane had a little more flexibility than I did, but Jasmine had little interest in being wrestled out of my arms and placed into his. Do I have some guilt about that? Maybe some. But life is what it is and I try not to dwell in a place of guilt for too long. Don't get me wrong. That merciless feeling shows up frequently and I have to spend some time deciding if it's valid or just self-inflicted suffering. Again, not always clear but if there's one thing I see a lot of, it's parents all over (especially moms) suffering from guilt because they just don't do quite enough for their kids. And maybe some would crown me the queen of not-doing-enough. Because I work. And I have my own interests that I have fought hard to preserve. I know that I wouldn't feel whole if I gave too much of that up. I also know that my life and my heart revolves around Jasmine and my mental energy is constantly balancing everything that I value in our life together as a family.

When Jasmine wouldn't stay in daycare at the gym Wedn. night, we were bewildered. We all have really come to enjoy our family night. Jasmine spends the day at home with her Daddy and they talk all day about meeting Mama at the gym, going swimming and, if it's not too late, grabbing a bite to eat at a restaurant (a super special treat for our family). Jasmine would not let me leave her this week. Clung to me like a monkey. Screamed bloody-murder when I tried to leave. We cajoyed. Maybe threatened a little (no swimming tonight, no restaurant), but to no avail. She would not let me go. So we came home and I won't deny that I was irritated. But when we both tried to take her to school this week (she's there 2 days a week), she did the same routine. Latched on like a leech. I had to pry her strong little arms off my neck and hand her, screaming and wailing, to her teacher.

Thank you, Teacher Susan, for your calm and soothing presence and for calling me later and telling me everything was OK.

We're just going to have to ride this one out, and with my day or so to reflect, I know that I have to allow her to experience whatever is going on for her and not impose my own agenda on her. And this time around, Shane is no longer the one being rejected but gets to have his own experience of his daughter, who doesn't want to let go.

Got friends?

A spontaneous play date at the park. Isn't it great to have friends? I am quickly learning that children bring new friends into parents' lives and for this I am grateful.

What are the chances, in our small, homogenous foothill community, that there are 3 asian kids with 2 asian moms (Vietnamese and Korean descent)? Not what I expected but am very relieved that Jasmine is able to make friends with non-caucasian kids.

Jasmine, her best friend, Emmy, her other favorite, Conner and a new friend.
It was a low-key July 4th for us, although we did manage to stay very busy and have fun at the pool and the park. No fireworks this year as Shane worked all weekend and I consider fireworks a family event. Hope everyone else enjoyed their holiday weekend!

The good and the bad, update from last weekend

We did some serious gardening last weekend with my mom visiting. So much so, that I have few pictures of the busy-ness. Jasmine, who one year ago, would not let me do anything in the yard without being underfoot, is completely content as our little helper. This girl can water! And truth be told, it IS helpful. I am stunned that I can actually ask a not-quite-three year old to do things for me and she does them well.

Here she is watering potato plants.

The gardening clothes are kind of a nuisance on such a hot day...

so much of the day is spent out of them.
Unfortunately at the end of our day on Sunday, my mother had an accident and fell and hurt her back very badly. We thought maybe she had even fractured her hip, she was in so much pain. We ended up in the ER for xrays that evening and my poor mom couldn't not get off our sofa Monday morning. Flat on her back. Thankfully nothing was broken!

It was an adventure figuring out how to get her home. We all know that convalescing in someone else's home is not much fun so I drove her home home Monday night (remember it's 3 hours away) as she laid in the back of her car. She collapsed on her sofa at 2 AM, and the next morning I caught Amtrak back home. My brother took over from there since he works and lives in the Bay area close by.

Fortunately, after a week convalescing at home, mom is doing much, much better and seems to be on the road to recovery.

Planting

I started this post last week, but somehow the week completely got away from me and all I could do was upload pictures. Hopefully, we'll be doing a whole lot more gardening today with the arrival of my mom, the gardening wizard.

We are planting. I know, I know, it's the end of June. But, it has been an unseasonably cool spring here and, well, you can't plant if it ain't ready. I started throwing tomatoes in the ground as soon as the dirt was unloaded. The drip system isn't finished yet, but some things just can't wait.

Jasmine jumped right in, planting some marigolds (a week later, her poor little flowers are looking rather peaked).


I kept her clear of the veggies until it was time to water them, because I want them to produce so badly. Is it too much to ask to have a fresh tomato from one's own garden?
Eventually, Jasmine found her spot in the dirt.
We'll keep track of the garden's progress this summer and if anyone wants to offer gardening tips, don't hesitate.