Parenting 101-The Study of Scatology

This picture should provide some insight into the topic of this post.  Our day was book-ended by...poop. Not unusual with a 20 month old. Much of our conversations have to do with her poop--whether she's just had one, how many she's had overall, the difficulty of cleaning it up (how many wipes did it take?!), and of course, consistency. Too graphic for you?  Stop reading now, because it only gets better.  We're in the pre-potty training phase.  You know, that time when baby is always under foot, wanting to do everything that you do.  So why not sit her on a potty when the time presents itself?  She knows what it's about, she's game to hang out on her potty.  In fact, this morning she brought a book with her.  So I thought, let's take another leap forward in this process.

Mama:  Xiaoxiao, do you want to go potty?

XX:  nodnodnodnod.

Mama:  On your potty, Xiaoxiao?  Do you want to sit on your potty with your book?

XX:  nodnodnodnod.

Mama:  Ok, baby, let's take your diaper off and you can sit on your potty just like mama.

Grins and giggles, pure eagerness.  Bare bottom on the potty for 10 seconds.  On to more interesting things, like throwing toys into the bathtub and pulling 100 sheets of tp all over the bathroom.  Mama leaves the bathroom for 30 seconds to get a diaper and gets distracted.  Mama thinks, hmmm, baby has no pants on, might as well get her clothes together and get her dressed.  Does this shirt match these overalls?  Do these pants still fit her?  How warm is it going to be today?  Maybe she would be more comfortable in leggings...Mama leaves bedroom to find baby and instead finds 4 nicely formed poops heading from bedroom to bathroom with a lovely puddle at the end of the trail.  

Mama:  Xiaoxiao, you pooped!  Good girl, now please sit on your potty RIGHT NOW so I can clean up.  

Xiaoxiao:  blank stare at mama, then she begins to pee, forming a new, much larger puddle and suddenly the bathroom and hallway have become a very dangerous skating rink.  

This is when things went from barely manageable to downright messy.  We now have pee and poop leading from her bedroom all through the bathroom and someone is wet, mushy and in motion.  Enough said.  On to the evening bath, when miss J, without any warning, let loose in the tub.  Uh oh, we both said, and I picked up my wet, soapy daughter and placed her on her potty, but not before she pooped on the rug and slipped her not so soapy bottom all over the potty seat. 

They never told us about this in our pre-adoption reading materials.

What's up?!

Some of you may be wondering what's up, as in, where the hell have you been, not posting for almost a week?! I'll get to that later. But the few pictures that I've managed to shoot this week are posted, just in case anyone is suspicious about my blogging inertia.
Morning time, and Jasmine has decided that she actually wants all her hair barrettes in at once. Quite a coup d'etat from the girl who acts as if I'm cutting off her left ear when I normally try to put them in.  I happily obliged, since you may be able to tell that her hair is getting a tad unruly these days. 
Next stop, dinner.  Sometimes, simple is better.  Some of you may recall that I go SERIOUSLY out of my way to feed this child homemade, organic food, only to have it callously rejected on a whim.  I've decided that tortellini were invented specifically for toddlers, who can easily pick one  up with a finger tip and then simply place it in the open mouth.  If I weren't so preoccupied with her nutritional needs, every meal would be served like this... 
The different ways of eating pasta--this is the coy approach.
So, where have I been, besides not blogging?  Well, tired, worn out, somewhat depressed and preoccupied.  Work and life is catching up to me and the bottom line is, we all need breaks, including (or especially?) therapists. The rule of thumb that I learned many years ago is that therapists should take breaks every 3 months, to recharge and step away from the consulting/listening chair.  This is not always realistic, but I have discovered that this ratio is steadfast in it's reliability.  That being said, Jasmine and I are hitting the road, or more accurately, the air.  We're heading to my alma mater, Boulder Co. where I will be visiting my high school BFF. It's only for a weekend but I am excited to introduce J to Ramona and to have a girlfriend to talk to.  

The other contributing factor to my silence is my preoccupation with Jasmine's upcoming surgery.  I have not mentioned this yet, although we've known about it for over a month.  I will begin to write about it next month. Don't ask me why, but that's just how I've decided to handle this issue.  If this blog were a journal, I'd be writing about it every day.  Maybe that's what I really should be doing but it's not my style to handle things that way.  I have to talk about things when I'm ready...

Bedhead

Here is Jasmine first thing in the morning. Seriously, that is some crazy hair but there is nothing cuter than a sweet girl in a nightie. We've been struck by a spring heat wave and the less clothes, the better.


BRUSH MY HAIR, MAMA. Did I mention that my child is demanding?

Re-adoption is done!

Here we are in the judge's chambers after re-adopting our daughter.   What is re-adoption, you might ask?  Well, anyone who has adopted internationally knows that, with the assistance of an agency or an attorney or just plain diligence, one must "re-adopt" their child in the U.S. in order to obtain an american birth certificate.  So we got ourselves dolled up for the special occasion and made our adoption "U.S. certified and official".  Shane did every stitch of paperwork for this process and Jasmine and I merely showed up.  While I think we did the right thing for our daughter, it's an odd journey.  We travel around the world to get our daughter out of an orphanage after almost 3 years of paperwork, expense and patience only to come home and do more paperwork and have more expense in order to obtain a U.S. birth certificate.   
Here's another sweet boy completing his adoption.  I don't think he was being re-adopted, however.
Jasmine loves to be a ham and here is a perfectly luxurious space to run, scream, drool and swing off the chandeliers. 
We are the epitome of a multi-cultural family.  None of the three of us was born in the U.S., and neither was my brother, my parents, my aunts and uncles, or Shane's brother or parents.  My parents both grew up in Hungary and left during the Hungarian revolution of 1957, where they eventually met in Canada and had 2 kids.  I only became a U.S. citizen in 2006 in order to adopt from China.  Shane, born and raised in Dublin, Ireland, remains an Irish citizen, so one of us had to become a citizen and I knew it needed to be me.  Therefore, it is Jasmine who, ironically, is the youngest member of our family to become a citizen and the only one who will have a U.S. birth certificate.  So from biology to destiny, she has no grandparents or parents born on this soil and she will most likely grow up as American as they come.

There's nothing like gardening with your grandmother

(click on any photo to enlarge)

We got lucky this weekend.  My mom came for a visit (a 3 hour drive for her) and Jasmine squealed with delight.  Seeing her 2 weekends in a row is great for their relationship and my mom is SO good with her.  The real coup was that Shane and I snuck away for 3 hours on Sunday--get this--alone.  So we decided to go for a run out in the wilderness, something we used to do every weekend together.  Here's our conversation:

S:  We're alone.

M: Yes, we are.

Long pause.

M: Do you feel awkward?

S: Yes, a little.

M: Like you're on a first date?

S: Uh, no. Not like that.

M: Like what, then?

S: Let's just go for a run.

End of conversation.

Is it strange that a husband and wife are out of sorts being alone together? For us, yes.  I suppose it's pretty normal for a lot of couples, parenting together for years and focusing on kids, work, responsibilities.  It's certainly an adjustment for us, and we do know that we need more time like our surreptitious getaway on Sunday.  That will come, in time.  In the meantime, our 2 hour run out in the wilderness on the remote and steep, rocky terrain of the Western States trail was like a little slice of heaven and coming home to Jasmine was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

She's taken over the house

Surfin' the web, checking out youtube and facebook and downloading some itunes.  Let me just say this happens while I'm at work and Jasmine is under her daddy's watch.
Spring is in the air after some cold days and Jasmine pulled out her kitty chair to the deck and cracked herself up.
Yes, this is not playacting.  Jasmine sometimes just falls asleep in her chair, while eating or even before the food is heated up.  She plays hard and she can crash hard too.  However, there is a small yet persistent problem of not napping enough.  Like 30 minutes.  OK, how does one go from falling asleep while eating to not sleeping longer than 30 minutes?  We just don't get it but it's the rare day when she sleeps over an hour. SIGH.

Shane and Jasmine spend 2 days/week together and they have so much fun.  It's PLAY time.  Of course, I'm not so bad either, but since J is so mama-centered when I'm around, it's really great for their relationship when I'm gone.  Shane knows that he will look back at this time that he had with her and forever cherish these special days of kinship.

Easter egg hunt #2

Another Easter egg hunt? This one required a drive to the Bay Area, and while the timing of our drive was exquisite, ie, during Jasmine's "normal" nap time, she whined and cried and squealed for most of the 3 1/2 hour drive to my mother's house.  Did I mention the drive used to be 2 1/2 hours?
Jasmine, while totally adorable, is perplexed.  Even though she's been through this before, it still makes no sense.

Thankfully, this time she has her 2 older cousins to guide her.


And off they go...until the arrival of the Easter bunny.
YIKES.  Jasmine wanted nothing to do with him (her? it? androgynous perhaps?)

Here is Uncle Shane and Frenchie.  She spent most of her 2 hours perched on his back.  Let me just say that she is a little pistol and by all accounts, J is taking after this cousin...

Kisses for his #1 girl.

And finally, a place to relax and hang-out after a very busy afternoon (that would be her baba's arms and that's my mom next to him) .  

I'll be writing more in the coming days about what's coming up in our future (a trip for me and J and a very scary surgery).  Stay tuned.

Back on the trails

We finally managed to drag our butts out of the house this afternoon and head to one of our favorite trail heads at the confluence of the middle and south forks of the American River.

Jasmine just couldn't get over the state of her baba's legs after our run.  She laughed and pointed when we let her out of her chariot, delighted, perhaps, that someday when she is stomping through puddles she will not be scolded.  Saving up some ammunition for a later day.
You can see the American river canyon in the backdrop.  We are slowly finding a rhythm to our lives, in that we are trying to integrate parts of who we were into who we are now.  I guess it sounds confusing but running on these trails was such a big part of our lives--and our happiness--that we don't want to lose it permanently.  We've tried different variations, all with advantages and disadvantages.  Somedays, we go out in shifts and that works pretty well.  But I find it very hard to leave Jasmine when I have a free day and when we're out together as a family, we all win.

Life is so different with a toddler at home.  An entire day can pass by and I get nothing accomplished except cleaning up behind her and making sure dishes don't pile up in the sink.  I have a stack of clothes in a basket that I haven't put away for weeks and things like dusting? Scrubbing toilets?  I'm lucky if I get gas in my car when the red light comes on.  And we just have ONE KID at home...it's a whole new world.  So I've changed the goal post.  If I get one thing done on my day off, like going for a run with the family, I'm satisfied.

The many faces of Jasmine

I am head over heels in love with this round-eyed, round-faced, chubby-cheeked, scrumptous little toddler.

Just a couple of midday photos to show off our funny, silly girl.  Although I still call her my baby--and think of her as a baby--these pictures definitely show a growing little girl with a mind of her own.  I am posting these photos for Grandma Marj in particular, who got her these little overalls as a welcome home gift.  At the time, I could not imagine Jasmine ever fitting into them and now I know that she'll outgrow them in less than 3 months.   How do we keep up?!

A new friend

I've known Hannah since she was 7 years old and it's hard for me to believe that she is now 12 and is extremely grown-up.  She came to my office to play with J for awhile and I tried to get caught up on paperwork.  Here they are warming up to each other.

It didn't take long before the toys were strewn about and hot wheels were getting rolled back and forth.

Here we see the grand finale, a friendship secured.  Hannah loves babies, and my baby loves Hannah.  I can't tell you how fun it is to see Jasmine warming up to new people and laughing and giggling like a little girl.  Thanks for a great afternoon, Hannah!  You're a natural.

My father's Kuglof recipe

Dough Ingredients

3/4 cup milk

2 oz butter

3 cups flour

1 Tbsp dry yeast

1/4 cup sugar

1 1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp cardamon

2 eggs

Filling Ingredients

1 cup raisins, soaked in 1/3 cup brandy or whiskey for one hour

2 oz butter, melted

1/2 cup pure cocoa powder

1/2 cup sugar

Procedure for Dough

1. Add milk and butter into a small saucepan and warm gently until butter is beginning to melt and milk is quite warm but not hot.

2. Combine flour, yeast, sugar, salt and cardamon in a large bowl or on a flat work surface. Make a well in the center and crack in eggs. Scramble them lightly with a fork, then add milk and butter and mix well while stirring flour into the wet ingredients. Continue stirring with a rubber spatula or your fingers until you have a soft, easily workable dough, adjusting with little more milk or more flour.

3. Knead dough on flour-dusted work surface until as smooth and soft as your baby's earlobes. Dust heavily with flour and place dough into a plastic bag or a large covered bowl, and let rise at a very warm room temperature until double, about 1 hour.

4. Punch down dough on a floured surface, knead for a few seconds, then let rise once more until double, about 40 minutes.

5. Turn out the dough on a floured surface, knead for a few seconds, and start to roll it out into a large finger-thick rectangle with a floured rolling pin. Keep the surface dusted with flour to prevent dough sticking. Shape it into a neat rectangle nearly twice as wide as long.

6. Spread the butter-cocoa paste uniformly over the entire surface, leaving only a finger-thick edge without the paste along the four sides. Drain the raisins (you can drink the brandy) and sprinkle it over the butter-cocoa paste. With your floured rolling pin, gently press the raisins into the dough.

7. Starting at the long side, roll dough up tightly. Seal the top and two ends by moistening with water and pressing dough firmly together. Carefully shape it into a large horse-shoe shape and lift it on a well-oiled heavy baking sheet. Spread top with egg wash (egg and water blend), cover and let rise at a very warm room temperature for 20 minutes.

Procedure for Filling

Combine melted butter of the filling with cocoa and sugar and mix into a uniform paste. Keep it warm for easy spreading.

Preheat oven to 350F. Prick top surface of dough all over with a fork, apply egg wash again and bake until top is brown, 20-25 minutes. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack for at least an hour before slicing.

Check out his blog for more recipes and one-of-a-kind cooking tips: http://www.howfoodswork.blogspot.com/

For those of you who knew Shane before...

Shane suggested that he hook up the chariot to his bike and give it a try. So we brushed off the cobwebs and dust from his Colnago and got the family prepared.
We headed up the road and I grabbed a couple of photos along the way.

Why are these pictures significant?  Some of you may know us personally and you're the ones this post is for.  Shane and I met on the road, so to speak.  Riding and racing our bikes, we kept bumping into each other over the years and finally the stars lined up and we got hooked.  That was 9 years ago and a lot has changed in those years, but what hasn't changed is our love of the great outdoors and our desire to include our daughter in this part of our lives.  

Shane is also a man who likes routine and ritual, and hooking up a baby carrier to the back of his bike doesn't exactly fit into the natural order for him.  This is a fantastic break-through for him!  In fact, all of the changes that have come along with parenthood have encouraged us to grow and change in ways that we never could have imagined before, regardless of how hard we tried to prepare.  

I also have to remark on little miss J, who gets to cruise along at high rates of speed, this time with baba in front and mom at her side, waving and checking in with her.  She doesn't say a word, just looks and waves while we're cruising back home (downhill) at 25-30 mph.  I do believe that she played a role in choosing her parents, so this must be where she belongs.  Crazy kid.

Jasmine's first Easter egg hunt

An Easter egg hung can be confusing to a  20 month old. Run like a mad woman out onto a grassy field and put plastic eggs into your basket, along with dozens of other toddlers, then try really hard not to push someone who is going for the same egg. And it's all over in less than 5 minutes.

But it was a beautiful spring day and Shane was very dashing and photogenic.

Look at this gorgeous girl.  She's wearing some new red shoes that we picked up in Chinatown last weekend.




Back at home in the afternoon, Jasmine was equally cute in her diaper and gardening/rain boots.  This moment is what we all live for, isn't it?  Jasmine is not shy about asking for hugs--did I say asking?--demanding hugs.  She is just the cutest baby ever.  Yes, if you look closely you'll see that she is wearing beaded bracelets around her legs.  Her outfit choice, by the way.

All in a day's work

The day started out innocently enough--Jasmine and her Daddy hanging out on the steps reading magazines.


A discussion ensued, something about politics, religion and the new world order.
But soon, Jasmine moved on to more important chores, like giving her bathrobe a ride around the house.  
Then it was on to outside chores, and the shopping cart became a wheelbarrow.  Just as a side note, we picked up this little goodie at a garage sale for 50 cents.  
A mover and a shaker, Jasmine had a lot of important tasks today.  Besides giving her bathrobe a ride, she had dirt to dig, seeds to plant, watering to be done and general landscape design duties.

What's this? A worm?  You want me to do what?  Touch it?  I don't think so.
Her final act before hitting the wall, helping her mom design a footpath in the garden.  Since we had to take out a couple of diseased madrones last fall, we have a whole new space that needs to be attended to.  Jasmine is always mama's little helper, but after a busy afternoon of gardening she needed a mid-afternoon bath to recuperate.