Happy Anniversary

8 years ago, on a fortuitously warm day in the middle of April, we were married in front of a small circle of our family and friends. It's been a wild and crazy ride since then but there's no other ride I'd like to be on than this one right here. I picked this photo for a couple of reasons: 1. Our small wedding album is not digitized.

2. This is one of the last photos of us before we became parents (we're in Hong Kong, summer 08).

3. I look 10 years younger here than now (OK, maybe a little exaggeration, but parenting does take it's toll).

Most of you know by now that I'm a therapist and I spend the better part of my days helping people muddle through the challenges of their complicated lives. I'm no different than my clients, challenged in the same ways, wanting the same things. It's an honor and a privilege, however, to be trusted enough to be let into the worlds' of others. I know, intimately, what people struggle with. I am shown their marriages, their crumbling families, their resentments and disappointments, their failures and shortcomings. But more important and inspiring, I am shown their strengths and resilience, determination and grit. Sometimes I am the one that must point these things out, and it's always the most rewarding part of my work. Look at what we are all capable of! What we can endure, work through, achieve, and ultimately, find ways to thrive. My work is all about celebrating the human spirit, and what I have found, over and over, is that we do not want our spirits to be killed.

Marriage brings out the best and the worst in us. I confess, it has not always been a clear path lying in front of me. But without marriage, this marriage, I would not be who I am today. I would not learn about myself in ways that I'd rather ignore. I would continue to live behind my blind spots, despite my desire not to. Because only in relationship with others are we forced to see parts of ourselves that remain hidden from us otherwise.

Shane and I will do everything in our power to be celebrating April 21 for years to come. And if there is one sure thing that we have both learned, the next 8 years will take work, just like the last 8, just like it is for every other couple committed enough to have a marriage that really and truly lasts.