Comments on Our Dongguan Baby: Letting go

Insightful post! Hang tough - and try to remember ...

2010-07-13T06:51:35.488-07:00

Insightful post! Hang tough - and try to remember that a good parent takes time to re-charge themselves too.

I'm only an 8 year adoptive parent - but have 20+ years of mistakes parenting under my belt! There are a great many things I wish I could do over - including being about 5 or 10 years older when the first one was born (you're still a kid at 25!) - That much said - and if I may be so bold - our adopted one's are 'different' - in particular with seperating from the parent!

You've heard me say this before - there is no such thing as a 'non-special needs' adoption from anywhere - all of our kids will at least have the emotional wound of abandonment (regardless of how they came to be orphaned - to kids it's all the same!).

It will re-surface from time to time - sometimes with a year or more inbetween bouts - but it will come back. Love them - hold them - support them - but require them to function in their world too, anything less will set them up for failure as an adult.

And after all of that - sorry - I don't have a magic cure - all kids are different and what ever will work for one won't with another....that's one of the joy's of parenting - when you guess right it's super rewarding! ;)

hugs - prayers - aus and co.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but all...

2010-07-12T16:41:29.906-07:00

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but all I can say is hang in there. I'm sure it's just a phase and it will pass. And then she'll be up to something else:) At least that's the way it goes around here....

Hang in there, Monica. If it makes you feel any b...

2010-07-09T20:34:03.246-07:00

Hang in there, Monica. If it makes you feel any better, we have gone through this with our bio kids as well. I think sometimes they just go through phases of growing or maybe they have had some bad dreams or something has just triggered a bad memory or they are just tired. It sometimes seems that as soon as you get one phase down, another rears it's ugly head and you have to suddenly regroup and figure out a better way to deal. Do NOT beat yourself up over working. It seems to me that your time with J is realy quality time. You may just need to ride this out and I bet within a week or two, she will be behaving better. Just be firm but loving in your expectations and let her lead you through it:) (((HUGS)))