Our Dongguan Baby

Girl's weekend

2010-07-27T21:38:00.000-07:00

It was long overdue. We haven't ventured out on a camping trip in over 2 years. In fact, we haven't even upgraded from our backpacking tent to a family tent. It's a 2-sleeper, and the last time we snuggled up in our tent we were backpacking at 10,000 feet in the cold rain, deep in the Eastern Sierras. Zami was with us too, 3 years younger and much more spry, but even then, she finessed her way into our little tent for some comfort and warmth.

Fast forward 3 years. With Shane working the weekend, the 2-sleeper was perfectly suitable for a night away. Jasmine thought it was incredibly cool to have camping beds and blankies out in the woods. She spent the first hour rolling around in the tent.

We found a sweet spot by the river outside of Lake Tahoe.

These days, whether conscious or not, Zami is often found by Jasmine's side. Not raised to be naturally comfortable with children, she intrinsically understands the need to stay close to Jasmine. I'm sure the daily treats she receives from J doesn't hurt, either.
Dinner was consumed standing up in skivvies.
Digging.
Corn on the cob, an easy veggie to offer.
In the morning, Jasmine found a new friend. Actually, her new friend found us. Observing us from across the road, Emmy ventured over and felt like hanging out. She was obviously intrigued by our little family. Earlier in the morning, her father had paid us a visit and spontaneously given us a children's book, which Emmy was invited to read. Jasmine eventually convinced her to visit our little tent and play peek-a-boo.
Later in the day, we drove into Tahoe and visited J's special friend, Isla. They live in Tahoe and have access to a private beach right on the Lake. It was glorious. J and Isla made sand angels and played hard before they both started to melt down late in the afternoon. Who said 3 year olds don't need their naps? We are delighted to have seen Isla 2 weekends in a row and to be getting to know her family.

Next weekend we have our second camping trip planned with grandparents. We can hardly wait to pack up our car and hit the road!

Nevada City's Children Renaissance Fair

2010-07-17T16:46:00.000-07:00

This was a true foray into parenting a soon-to-be 3 year old, a fair that is all about arts and crafts. Nevada City, known for its' progressive politics, community focus and artistry puts on this annual children's fair. Nestled in the trees with a creek flowing through the middle, it was a joyful way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

Jasmine showed off her preschool talents by embarking on every activity that she could, enlightening me to some of her lesser known skills. Like gluing things to paper with large bowls of glitter to sprinkle all over the top like powdered sugar. Not exactly something I've embraced on the home front. I'm all about glitter--after it's dried and brought home from school.
Jasmine is examining her handiwork in the form of a crown.

The added bonus to this day? We got to check in on my friend Lynn and her 4 kids from China. I wish terribly I had taken a few pictures. Jasmine was literally awestruck by Lynn's family. We haven't seen them in about a year, and that was 11 1/2 months too long. Before and after the fair, we hung out with this amazing family and when we left she was wearing hand-me-down jammies and had a bagful of donated toys from the 3 girls. They had given her things that they had watched her play with, even things out of Kate's special treasure box. We will definitely be making more of an effort to be with them in the future!

Garden update

2010-07-12T22:37:00.000-07:00

We've been bustin' our behinds on our new vegetable garden this year, especially on the rare Sundays that Shane isn't working. It's become an obsession of sorts and the more we do, the more that needs doing. We are all involved and most weekends you can find Jasmine either covered from head to toe in dirt, with sidewalk chalk, shovels and buckets, or soaked to the bone as she helps with the watering. This inevitably leads to a lot of nakedness by Jasmine which is fine with us. Enjoy it now, sweetheart.

We have a lot of flowering plants right now, with a few bearing fruit. Tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers are starting to emerge and the newly planted pole beans are poking up from the ground with robust leaves. Every morning you will find me outside, greeting my young crop with a curious eye, making sure there were no tragedies in the night. Evenings, I can't wait to see what the heat of the day inspired and I have yet to be disappointed. The okra have beautiful hibiscus-like flowers, and the zucchini is ready to produce its first orange blossom tomorrow morning. It's an exciting process. Of course, I've gotten the fun job, planting and nurturing (although I'm the designated drip installer, which is definitely a labor of love). Shane has been installing PVC for our expanded irrigation system, mostly digging trenches and laying and gluing pipe. And Jasmine, as usual, is comic relief and reminds us to play more and work less.

Letting go

2010-07-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

We've been facing some new challenges with our almost 3 year old. Actually, they're old challenges resurrected. Because we faced some of this before, early on in our parenting journey when Jasmine was little and I had to leave her. No wanting to let go of me. Screaming enough to make my heart break when I had to go to work. It didn't happen with everyone. In fact, sometimes it only happened when I left her with Shane, which was brutal for all of us. But Shane and I ventured into this journey knowing that we were both going to be parenting on our own, with opposing days off, and he had to find his way through the trauma.

Thankfully, we are slightly more experienced now, although when unexpected emotional upheavals occur, it definitely can throw me off. And I'm not always proud of how I react. Sometimes it takes me a day to think about what's happened and realize that I better come up with a new plan, a new response--and fast.

Jasmine has been in the care of others since the beginning of our lives together. As a self-employed person, I had to return to work within days of getting back from China. It was a gut-wrenching time in our lives. Shane had a little more flexibility than I did, but Jasmine had little interest in being wrestled out of my arms and placed into his. Do I have some guilt about that? Maybe some. But life is what it is and I try not to dwell in a place of guilt for too long. Don't get me wrong. That merciless feeling shows up frequently and I have to spend some time deciding if it's valid or just self-inflicted suffering. Again, not always clear but if there's one thing I see a lot of, it's parents all over (especially moms) suffering from guilt because they just don't do quite enough for their kids. And maybe some would crown me the queen of not-doing-enough. Because I work. And I have my own interests that I have fought hard to preserve. I know that I wouldn't feel whole if I gave too much of that up. I also know that my life and my heart revolves around Jasmine and my mental energy is constantly balancing everything that I value in our life together as a family.

When Jasmine wouldn't stay in daycare at the gym Wedn. night, we were bewildered. We all have really come to enjoy our family night. Jasmine spends the day at home with her Daddy and they talk all day about meeting Mama at the gym, going swimming and, if it's not too late, grabbing a bite to eat at a restaurant (a super special treat for our family). Jasmine would not let me leave her this week. Clung to me like a monkey. Screamed bloody-murder when I tried to leave. We cajoyed. Maybe threatened a little (no swimming tonight, no restaurant), but to no avail. She would not let me go. So we came home and I won't deny that I was irritated. But when we both tried to take her to school this week (she's there 2 days a week), she did the same routine. Latched on like a leech. I had to pry her strong little arms off my neck and hand her, screaming and wailing, to her teacher.

Thank you, Teacher Susan, for your calm and soothing presence and for calling me later and telling me everything was OK.

We're just going to have to ride this one out, and with my day or so to reflect, I know that I have to allow her to experience whatever is going on for her and not impose my own agenda on her. And this time around, Shane is no longer the one being rejected but gets to have his own experience of his daughter, who doesn't want to let go.

Got friends?

2010-07-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

A spontaneous play date at the park. Isn't it great to have friends? I am quickly learning that children bring new friends into parents' lives and for this I am grateful.

What are the chances, in our small, homogenous foothill community, that there are 3 asian kids with 2 asian moms (Vietnamese and Korean descent)? Not what I expected but am very relieved that Jasmine is able to make friends with non-caucasian kids.

Jasmine, her best friend, Emmy, her other favorite, Conner and a new friend.
It was a low-key July 4th for us, although we did manage to stay very busy and have fun at the pool and the park. No fireworks this year as Shane worked all weekend and I consider fireworks a family event. Hope everyone else enjoyed their holiday weekend!

The good and the bad, update from last weekend

2010-07-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

We did some serious gardening last weekend with my mom visiting. So much so, that I have few pictures of the busy-ness. Jasmine, who one year ago, would not let me do anything in the yard without being underfoot, is completely content as our little helper. This girl can water! And truth be told, it IS helpful. I am stunned that I can actually ask a not-quite-three year old to do things for me and she does them well.

Here she is watering potato plants.

The gardening clothes are kind of a nuisance on such a hot day...

so much of the day is spent out of them.
Unfortunately at the end of our day on Sunday, my mother had an accident and fell and hurt her back very badly. We thought maybe she had even fractured her hip, she was in so much pain. We ended up in the ER for xrays that evening and my poor mom couldn't not get off our sofa Monday morning. Flat on her back. Thankfully nothing was broken!

It was an adventure figuring out how to get her home. We all know that convalescing in someone else's home is not much fun so I drove her home home Monday night (remember it's 3 hours away) as she laid in the back of her car. She collapsed on her sofa at 2 AM, and the next morning I caught Amtrak back home. My brother took over from there since he works and lives in the Bay area close by.

Fortunately, after a week convalescing at home, mom is doing much, much better and seems to be on the road to recovery.

Planting

2010-06-23T20:19:00.000-07:00

I started this post last week, but somehow the week completely got away from me and all I could do was upload pictures. Hopefully, we'll be doing a whole lot more gardening today with the arrival of my mom, the gardening wizard.

We are planting. I know, I know, it's the end of June. But, it has been an unseasonably cool spring here and, well, you can't plant if it ain't ready. I started throwing tomatoes in the ground as soon as the dirt was unloaded. The drip system isn't finished yet, but some things just can't wait.

Jasmine jumped right in, planting some marigolds (a week later, her poor little flowers are looking rather peaked).

I kept her clear of the veggies until it was time to water them, because I want them to produce so badly. Is it too much to ask to have a fresh tomato from one's own garden?
Eventually, Jasmine found her spot in the dirt.
We'll keep track of the garden's progress this summer and if anyone wants to offer gardening tips, don't hesitate.

Party in the Park

2010-06-19T17:22:00.000-07:00

Last year I started participating in events around town that would have never interested me before--you know, things that involve bouncy houses and screaming, over-tired children. It took me that first year with Jasmine to realize how fundamentally different my life was going to be from that point on.

Now, I look forward to these events, for the obvious reason that nothing brings me more joy than to see my sweet girl having a good time and to see her embracing things that she wasn't able to do last year.

The Obstacle Course.

The Party was the climax of an unusually action-packed day for us. Jasmine had a speech assessment in Sacramento in the morning followed by a swim lesson in the afternoon. We were on the go from 8:00 in the morning until 8:30 at night. I even had to wake Jasmine up from her carseat nap for her swim lesson:

Mama: Sweetheart, it's time for your swim lesson.

Jasmine: Right now?!

Mama: Yes, believe it or not, right now in the middle of your nap.

I would call that a scheduling faux pas of the highest order.

Why I love Wednesdays

2010-06-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

Wednesday is family night at the gym. I try to never work late on Wedn. and Shane and Jasmine meet me there for our "family night out." Jasmine knows that Wedn. is gym day and we all look forward to it. Now that the warm weather is sticking around and the evenings are light, we get to do fun things like this...
Here's Jasmine, running to get her goggles after realizing that her new friend, Grace, is in the pool too.
Can you see a little goggled face in the background? That's Grace, a 4 1/2 year old, also from China. Pure serendipity that we have met her at the gym. We all seem to gravitate towards the pool at the same time. Grace is an inspiration to all of us, swimming under water across the length of the pool. I asked her if she was part fish or mermaid, but she denied that was the case. With Grace's influence, Jasmine put her face in the water for the first time tonight and started blowing bubbles. We can't wait to show off at swim lesson on Friday.

The downside of these fun evenings is that Jasmine gets to bed waaay past her bedtime. I feel pretty guilty about it, but it's our only day of the week that works out this way.

2010-06-13T22:05:00.000-07:00

Our weekend couldn't have exclaimed Jasmine any more than if we had a neon sign in front of our house. After all, 1 playdate a week is a pretty good average for us. But this weekend? We had a house full of cousins (OK, I know it's just 2 of them, but these 2? Fill up a house.).

After returning home from our super-fun swim date at the gym, Jasmine managed a brief nap before round 2--her cousins from the Bay area. My brother decided that he just hasn't been busy enough lately (a 70th birthday celebration in Florida, camping at Yosemite and a weekend workshop), he opted for a fourth weekend away from home to pay us a visit. Our good fortune.

These girls know how to tear a house apart.

They know how to catch lizards and chase butterflies.

They like to share their toys and teach Jasmine all their big girl tricks.

They say please and love to eat.
When we went to the park today, I had one simple request. Because as a mom to one, I find it hard enough to get a good photo. But for these 3? Always on the move? I tend to give up getting any action shots. All I asked was for one simple photo where they all looked at me...
But the creme de la creme? Frenchie (not in this photo) brought her smallest bike, as a loaner, for Jasmine to ride. On loan until she has kids of her own, at which time she would please like it back. Here she is, carefully watching her oldest cousin for tips
The proud borrower of a big girl bike.

And now I need to think of a new birthday present, since this one is a done deal. For now.
Oh, and if this hasn't been a busy enough weekend? Emmy came over for a playdate. In the midst of all the chaos, these 2 still found time to take a breather and paint together. If you look carefully, you'll see the lizard in the bucket, one of 2 captured this weekend and relocating to Los Gatos, with the expectation that they will like each other enough to...mate...and lay eggs.
Jasmine and Emmy are only one month apart, but you wouldn't be able to tell by this picture. Seriously, if Jasmine's growth doesn't slow down just a tad, I will not know how to explain to people her actual age. Does she look like a child not yet 3?

A new friend

2010-06-13T07:30:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago J and I were swimming at our gym when we spotted another mom/child combo that looked suspiciously similar to us. Never one to shy away from making new friends, I approached them and we got to chatting. Before long, the girls were holding onto a noodle, kicking their way around the pool.

Isla (pronounced EYE-la) lives up in Tahoe with her parents and is 3 1/2 years old. Her parents sometimes drop into our town for tennis tournaments, hosted at our gym. We promised we'd try to get together the next time this happened.

Yesterday Isla and Jasmine had their first playdate. Here they are in the locker room after having a swim. A rare moment of stillness, trust me.
Because it was more like this the rest of the time. The girls were somehow convinced to put their clothes on and play in daycare while the parents all went about various physical activities.
Have I mentioned how much I love our new gym? Besides babysitting, 2 swimming pools and a hot tub, they also have a playground. And since joining in January, I have met 3 families with children from China. Since we don't have a local FCC group and we traveled to China with our friends who live on the East coast, I'm always on the lookout for children and families that Jasmine can identify with.

I had the good fortune of being able to hang out with girls while Isla's parents played their tennis matches.

A lunch break. Why is it that someone else's lunch always looks better than your own? 3 year olds are funny. Sharing is optional--it can happen with complete abandon or discerningly. I witnessed both, but let's just say they aren't going to starve.
Next stop for Isla and Jasmine? Tahoe. Can't wait.

Garden construction, phase 2

2010-05-31T21:40:00.000-07:00

Still working on the garden project. As you can see, there are no plants in sight, no young, eager tomatoes spreading their stems or beans winding their way up the fence. It couldn't be that easy. No, it's all about keeping those critters out to start with, and apparently, that's a tall order up here. So, between entertaining Jasmine, running the skilsaw and stretching wire fencing, we're not ready to boast about any growth yet.

And next week is June 1st. Sigh. On the other hand, we've had unseasonably cold weather here this spring. People are still covering their plants at night from time to time, so maybe no one will be growing tomatoes this year.
Entertaining Jasmine is almost as much work as building a garden, at least when done in tandem with any kind of project. We had as many of her toys out as we did tools, and truth be told, all she really wants is another human being to play with. Toys are only interesting when shared with others. I understand the attraction of having more than one child--at least, when they decide to get along with one another. But in all fairness, she tries really, really hard to let us get some work done. She tries even harder to help. There's nothing like having a child sitting in your lap when you're trying to work with power tools.

Swimming lesson #1

2010-05-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

Jasmine got her first official swim lesson today and it couldn't have been a finer day for it. After months and months of rain (we've officially been burning in our wood stove for 8 months--and we live in California...), the sun is finally shining upon us.

Teacher Bonnie knows her stuff. She's been teaching kiddos to swim for many, many years. She instructed me to have a seat and the one time I thought I should try and help, she quickly put me back in my place.

As for Jasmine? Let's see how many emotions can be elicited in 30 minutes. Of course, it all began with excitement, putting on her swimsuit for her first lesson. But when Teacher Bonnie started pouring buckets of water on her head, J started having second thoughts.
And when she got dunked under the water briefly, she felt downright betrayed. Teacher Bonnie looked at me and said, "Strong-willed?" Uh...yeah, you might say that.
The personal injuries were soon forgotten as Jasmine chortled her way across the pool. Maybe I'm biased, but when this kid laughs, she infects everyone around her. Many heads were turned listening to her both scream bloody murder and laugh unabashedly.
In the end, Teacher Bonnie was forgiven her transgressions and Jasmine completed her first swim lesson in style.

Skinned knees

2010-05-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

Our daughter has the most banged-up, scabbed-over, bruised little legs of any 2 1/2 year old girl I know. Granted, my pool is small, but still. She's part tomboy, part adventurer, and 100% energy. We have now learned that no matter where we go, we carry her little travel bag, not for diapers and bibs anymore, but with bactine, Band-Aids and wipes. She's certainly not clumsy, she just lets her eyes and enthusiasm get ahead of her feet.

Especially when she's wearing flip-flops. Which she loves.

We tell her, "Don't run in your flip-flops." But it's just so hard to walk carefully, no matter what we're doing. We tell her, "Be careful, slow down!" as she runs, full gallop down our steep gravel driveway, most often staying upright and enthused for more.

What I do know is that my little girl is growing up faster than I care to admit. She's putting her own band-aids on now--a first--and even more than that? She says, "Mama, I just need to be alone for a minute" as she collects herself on the steps. Thankfully, she's still all about hugging and snuggling and being carried in my arms.

Cuz if she wasn't, I'd be the one sitting on the steps looking for a band-aid.

A weekend with kids.

2010-05-26T05:59:00.000-07:00

Nothing could be more excited to Jasmine than riding a big girl bike outdoors. She obsesses about having her very own bike, so much so, that every night I am required to tell her a "bike story". We go into great detail about her fantasy bike and I am sure many a dream has included a bike equipped with not only pedals and a basket, but wings and a tail.

It was no surprise, then, that on our weekend with her cousins, riding her cousin's smallest bike was exhilarating. It is only a matter of time, really, until she will be riding sans training wheels. If her determination is any indicator, it will come sooner rather than later.
A busy morning outdoors still requires a nap, and this can only happen if she is removed from the playful influence of her youngest cousin. I wasn't sure it would work, but it did.
J is in love with her oldest cousin and in between her busy social weekend calendar, she took some time out to help Jasmine work the bars.
And finally, Sunday morning was reserved for 4-wheeling. I know Frenchie was driving this jeep a year ago at 4 years old, but it is still a sight to behold. Her adeptness is inspiring as she steers, reverses and even parallel parks. Jasmine was quite happy to be a passenger on the way to the playground, and being the responsible driver, Frenchie made sure Jasmine was wearing her helmet and was securely buckled in.
I can only hope that my brother and his wife had as much fun being away for the weekend as we did staying with their kids. They were awesome.

Amgen!

2010-05-18T20:04:00.000-07:00

You all must know by now that we are serious cycling aficionados--our bike-racing days are mostly behind us (with the exception of an occasional hair that creeps up somewhere and causes me to humiliate myself) but nothing gets us more excited than going to a world class bike race. This weekend, the Amgen Tour of California arrived in Northern CA, the most prestigious bike race in the U.S. and guess what? They rode right up our road! Passing through our town of Auburn, crossing the bridge that we use for our commute and heading through the foothills down into Sacramento. Of all the great pictures we could have taken--Shane and myself with Jasmine in her trailer, riding the race course beforehand with all the cheering fans on the streets--this is all we got. One lousy picture. It was a great day, and if any of you ever have a chance to spectate a world class cycling event, we would highly recommend it.

Field trip to the Zoo Sanctuary

2010-05-15T13:16:00.000-07:00

Last week, J's preschool planned a trip to the Folsom Zoo Sanctuary, a small zoo that we first visited last summer. What I love about this zoo is that the animals are all rescued from an even worse life outside of the zoo, and most of them are creatures that I sometimes get to see out in the wilderness in my own backyard while out running, riding or even walking with Jasmine. It's one of the benefits of living in the foothills. I've said this before, but I do prefer seeing the mountain lions up close and behind bars, at least for my sake. I feel bad for them but I know they've been rescued from a worse fate.

Back to the preschool. Little did any of us know that apparently it was zoo day for dozens of preschools. There were little people EVERYWHERE. Clinging to their parents. Running wild in the park. Climbing the fences. Any what else are children supposed to do with themselves? We tried, as parents and teachers, to get them interested in the animals but quite honestly, they would much rather chase their friends them stare at a bear.

Jasmine, like most kids her age, loves to climb. And with her long, lean legs, she's easily capable of reaching great heights.

Mama and J. She spent a lot of time in my arms on this trip, until we left the zoo and went to the playground. Then she went wild.
And this picture is Jasmine giving me her finest pout. Which she does with regularity, in between running, jumping, dancing and pulling me from place to place.
As my work partner remarked, this is the first of many, many field trips that will be taking place in our lives. I certainly have a newfound respect for teachers, who are around this kind of chaos daily at work, and then find a way to deftly create order. Honestly, how do they do it with PE no longer an integral part of the schools? I mean, kids need to run and chase and climb all day long, from what I can see. And Jasmine? Given the opportunity, she will skip right through her nap to keep it up. In fact, after the zoo, lunch and the playground, I took her to our friends, Steph and Reinhard, since I still had to go to work for a few hours, and rather than taking a much-needed nap, she refused to nap and went to the playground with Steph, not even willing to get in her stroller for one small minute.

Boundless energy.

Belated Mama's Day

2010-05-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

If you're thinking we don't celebrate Mother's Day around here, you'd be wrong. But it's still strange for me to celebrate my own Mother's Day. I'm still more inclined to think about my own mother than myself. Thank goodness others think of me. Like Shane, who gave me cards and a living rose bush and told me anything you want, we can do.

I want to build a garden.

And if this doesn't honor my own mother, I don't know what would. Because my mom? As I've said before, can grow enough food to feed a neighborhood, with the smallest plot of land available. She has the richest compost and worm castings, and this produces the most prolific supply of tomatoes, beans, peppers, lettuce and zucchini one could ask for. If only she didn't live 3 hours away, because it's tough to eat out of her garden on a daily basis.

In honor of my mother, we mixed concrete and set posts for our enclosure. We will not be feeding the local, burgeoning population of deer if we can help it. And we dreamed about the possibilities of nurturing our own little crop of food, just like I did as a child. I loved being in the garden with my mother, and when she would tell me to go outside and pick something for dinner, I would happily go outside with my bowl and see what I could find.

This garden's for you, mom. I hope that I can give to Jasmine exactly what you gave to me (and I wouldn't mind some help along the way).

Confessions of a frustrated cook

2010-05-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

I love to cook. I would say it's probably in my genes. Both my parents are fantastic cooks and if you haven't noticed by Dad's blog, he's all about food. He's written countless books on catering, food, and most recently, food science. So if you're wondering about anything related to food, steer on over to his blog and check it out. Or, even better, by his latest book on Amazon, What Recipes Don't Tell You: From Appetizers to Zucchini.

But back to me. Actually, truth be told, I was a chef in a former life. Not a graduate of any fancy school, but one of those chefs that worked her way up in the restaurant biz, and worked under a trained chef. It was 10 good years of my life, starting way back in high school and putting myself through college, and eventually, just became my way of life. Chopping, planning, shopping, all have been daily fare.

Introduce Jasmine. Not necessarily interested in mama's passions. Or her cuisine.

I've never served so many meals/snacks out of a box in my life. In fact, she eats things that I honestly wouldn't dream of putting in my mouth. But what's a mom to do? She does not like green food (my favorite color), so the likes of broccoli, asparagus, salads and spinach are rejected outright. She does like edamame, but that's not much of a culinary challenge for me (open bag, boil water, serve). At least it's green. She'll eat tofu when she's in the mood and thankfully she loves fruit. Otherwise I'd be worrying about child endangerment.

Don't get me wrong. She LOVES to eat. She just doesn't appreciate a home-cooked meal. And I'm just not used to rejection. Our days go much better when I don't try to prepare anything special for her. Simple foods like turkeydogs, spaghetti, beans and rice go down easily but try something new? I'm usually treading on thin ice--sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

So my love of cooking has taken a little nosedive lately. I'm not planning meals in my head mid-afternoon like I used to. I don't get excited about making a spicy curry, or even baking in the morning. THANKFULLY, Jasmine loves to cook. And bake. So we at least share in the process and I know her palate will grow over time. She loves to see all the beautiful, fresh produce at the Farmer's market and eventually, I believe, she will come around and love to eat what we cook as much as she likes to help prepare it (or we're in for a bumpy ride).

Race against cancer

2010-05-02T20:50:00.000-07:00

Saturday was the annual Race Against Cancer, an epic mountain bike race located just over the American River, in a place called Cool, California. Cool boasts some pretty phenomenal events for a township of 2500. There's the 50K run in April, 2 mountain bike races in the spring and numerous other endurance events involving running and horses.

Training for an event has taken on a different meaning in the last couple of years--it's more about finishing than winning, about learning how to balance time to train with work and family. Before parenthood, training was a way of life. This race has many categories to choose from, and fortunately, is more a race against yourself than other participants. Right up my alley. The super-elite rode 24 hours on their mountain bikes, starting at noon on Saturday and wrapping up whatever was left in their legs at noon today. Many were sensible enough to be part of a team, allowing time for rest, food and possibly beer, if so inclined (yes, mountain bikers are known to consume alcohol during long races).

I chose the 8 hour solo event, a pretty big stretch for me these days. I don't normally have that kind of time on my bike anymore, but these last 6 weeks, Shane has done everything he could to support me in my preparation.

It was certainly painful, but not nearly as painful as going through cancer. Not remotely close to what our friend Dan Moores went through, who 3 years ago completed the Western States 100 mile run, and last year died from leukemia after a brave and horrendous 8 month battle undergoing brutal treatments in total isolation. Or what my dear friend Ramona's father went through, being stripped of all his dignity, brilliance and his life from brain cancer. Halfway through the course, pictures of people's loved ones graced the hill as we rode past, reminding us that we were suffering by choice, and to have choices in life is a privilege. To be cherished.

I'm putting on a brave face before the start. I've done this race before. I know what I'm in for.
But these 2? Couldn't be happier. Jasmine was enticed by the prospect of snacks in abundance. Ask her what her favorite food is and she'll say snacks. Cliff bars, organic yogurt drink, and Annie's organic bunnies are some of her favorites. She has never objected to rice chips either, sans salsa and guacamole.
They were a great support crew for me--every lap, they were there at the start/finish with food, drink and major encouragement.
Playdoh on the feet.
Lambchop in the backpack.
Our little spot for the day.
And the grand finale, Jasmine was introduced to a portable DVD player. We received this as a gift last year from my mom as we were anticipating 3 weeks in the hospital for her pulmonary sling surgery. We never needed it and decided it was a great way for J to pass a little time between laps. Seriously, could she be any happier?

There's not much more I can ask for than a day racing my bike with my family at my side. Cherishing these precious moments in life...

Pine Grove

2010-05-02T15:50:00.000-07:00

Jasmine's grandparents are a little bit spread out, geographically. My dad and stepmom live about 2 hours south of us, same elevation in the Sierra foothills. It was another gorgeous spring day, a huge relief after unusually cold temperatures and heavy rainfalls. We were all ready for some sunny weather.
Grandma Marj planned ahead for our visit and welcomed the assistance of 2 extra hands.
Jasmine is always ready to assist with a gardening project, and in this case, seemed to be actually helpful.

Jasmine loves a visit to her grandparents. She was patient on the 2 hour drive, reminding me and herself where we were going several times during our journey. Thanks for a great visit!

One fine Sunday

2010-04-26T21:22:00.000-07:00

It's a glorious spring out here on the west coast. In fact, it's never been quite so divinely colorful as the spring of 2010. The incessant rainy season--much appreciated but wearing us down--is producing vibrant colors everywhere the eye can see, and on this particular Sunday, we finally saw the thermometer stretch towards 80. It made us all downright giddy.

With my mother up for a visit, we were all quite content to be outside. Mom dug in the compost and planted new flowers and Jasmine was thrilled to finally get to paint (she's been told she had to wait for warm weather since hand-painting is an outdoor activity, for now).

This hand-painting technique she learned from Tay-tay during their house-painting playdate a few weeks ago.

We soaked it up as long as we could. There's more rain in the forecast tonight and for the rest of the week. The boots and umbrellas are laying in wait at the front door.

Saturdays

2010-04-24T14:37:00.000-07:00

Saturday mornings the local Farmer's market is in full bloom. We've been making it a habit of visiting the market lately, as the California rains have produced some mighty fine picking. But first, we must check in with the Emu. Her name is Morgan and she's there every week.
Jasmine still isn't so sure about Morgan. She certainly has big feet and a long beak.
Jasmine decided that she wasn't quite ready to start her day hanging out with an Emu.
She's more of a dog person actually, and this big rottweiler is more trustworthy.
Just some of our bounty for today. Broccoli at a dollar a pound? Harvested this morning? 3 pounds of asparagus won't go to waste and these organic strawberries? Heaven on earth.

Happy Anniversary

2010-04-22T06:32:00.000-07:00

8 years ago, on a fortuitously warm day in the middle of April, we were married in front of a small circle of our family and friends. It's been a wild and crazy ride since then but there's no other ride I'd like to be on than this one right here. I picked this photo for a couple of reasons: 1. Our small wedding album is not digitized.

2. This is one of the last photos of us before we became parents (we're in Hong Kong, summer 08).

3. I look 10 years younger here than now (OK, maybe a little exaggeration, but parenting does take it's toll).

Most of you know by now that I'm a therapist and I spend the better part of my days helping people muddle through the challenges of their complicated lives. I'm no different than my clients, challenged in the same ways, wanting the same things. It's an honor and a privilege, however, to be trusted enough to be let into the worlds' of others. I know, intimately, what people struggle with. I am shown their marriages, their crumbling families, their resentments and disappointments, their failures and shortcomings. But more important and inspiring, I am shown their strengths and resilience, determination and grit. Sometimes I am the one that must point these things out, and it's always the most rewarding part of my work. Look at what we are all capable of! What we can endure, work through, achieve, and ultimately, find ways to thrive. My work is all about celebrating the human spirit, and what I have found, over and over, is that we do not want our spirits to be killed.

Marriage brings out the best and the worst in us. I confess, it has not always been a clear path lying in front of me. But without marriage, this marriage, I would not be who I am today. I would not learn about myself in ways that I'd rather ignore. I would continue to live behind my blind spots, despite my desire not to. Because only in relationship with others are we forced to see parts of ourselves that remain hidden from us otherwise.

Shane and I will do everything in our power to be celebrating April 21 for years to come. And if there is one sure thing that we have both learned, the next 8 years will take work, just like the last 8, just like it is for every other couple committed enough to have a marriage that really and truly lasts.

She's ready to ride

2010-04-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

We visited our local bike shop today, a favorite hang-out for ex-bike racers like us. Did I mention that we have a budding bike rider on our hands? Oh yes we do. Bare in mind that Jasmine has been pulled from the back of a bike since the early days, has been riding her own little push-along for just as long and watches Mama leave many a morning with her bike on top of the car. We are a family of cyclists.

So when she got on her first real bike, with training wheels, and was able to adeptly maneuver her way around and around the shop with ease, I knew we were in big trouble.

She rode for the good part of 20 minutes. She did not run into any customers. She did not cause a domino-type collision of bikes. And she did not want to get off.
Rather than impulsively whipping out the plastic--since a new bike for any of us is not exactly in the budget--we wisely chose a stop at the frozen yogurt store, where she was quite content to dream about the day when she will find her new bike ready and waiting for her in the garage.